HAW comes from New Orleans this week, and the show opens up with James Calhoun's music, as he comes out to the ring with the Men of Power.
Edward Findleton: The main event tonight will be for the number contenders match for the HAW National Championship, it will be El Espectro taking on Ruslan Panov! The winner will face Scarred Badger next week! But it looks like last week's main event wrestler is kicking off our show!
Calhoun and the Men of Power all had their had down, looking solemn their entire walk to the ring. Calhoun grabbed a microphone and sighed.
James Calhoun: I....I need to apologize. Last week, I fought my good friend...Franco Mancini. It was a great match, he showed such strength, such effort...he showed why he used to be a champion. But after that match...it had to be done. I had to end Franco Mancini's career by ordering The Behemoth to powerbomb him through that announce table.
THE Casey Gains: He almost ended my announcing career and I've only been here a month!
Calhoun: I've felt such guilt this past week that we'll never see Franco Mancini ever again. I'm...I'm sorry!
James Calhoun put his face in his hands. Rat pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to James, who wiped his eyes, while Fun Fight Machine gave him a consoling hug. The crowd booed the entire time.
Edward Findleton: I don't think anyone here is buying this act.
Calhoun: Franco, I know you're watching from that hospital bed, most likely with feeding tubes in you...I just hope that one day, you and I can look back at this, laugh, and become friends. Franco, you-
James Calhoun was cut off, as the music of Douglas Brunswick came on. The crowd cheered, as Brunswick walked to the top of the ramp.
Douglas Brunswick: James Calhoun, I know there's only two things in this world you care about. Yourself, and that title. Yeah, you beat Franco last week. He's a good wrestler. But not as good as me. I'll be seeing you in a couple weeks at Shootout, and I expect to win that title you hold so dear. Because I know in my heart that one on one, in a fair wrestling match, you will NEVER defeat me. Enjoy your last couple weeks with that title.
Douglas Brunswick's music played again, and he pointed to the ring at Calhoun's championship. Calhoun held it above his head, suddenly no longer sad and screaming back at Brunswick how he'll never take this title. Brunswick had enough and went to the back.
A new theme song played, and the words “Exotic Delights” showed up on the screen. Out walked Phueng Ahunai and Lela Lacruse. They entered the ring, where Edward Findleton stood with a microphone.
Edward Findleton: Phueng Ahunai, Lela Lacruse...you're calling yourselves “Exotic Delights.” My question is, how can you defend your actions last week?
Lela: Easily.
Edward: ….....Ok, may you elaborate?
Phueng: Of course. We've had a difficult journey. I'm from Thailand. Lela is from Jamaica. And when we first came to work on the American wrestling scene, promoters wanted us to act....a certain way.
Lela: Stereotypes. Phueng can be the smart Asian girl! I can be the Rastafarian pothead! We refused to do that. Although ultimately to get work, we had to settle on...good ol' fashioned American Cheerleader.
Phueng: Then came HAW, scouting us in Alpha Wolf Wrestling. We lost to a woman named Mary Jane Elder, who incidentally, will be my opponent tonight. Freezerman was impressed and he signed her to a deal. But we went to him and said “Give us one chance. If we're not the talk of the women's division after it, then forget about us.”
Lela: We were never going to harm Athena. But the fact remains, every person watching knew who we were after that. And now Athena, the star of the HAW Women's Division? She's an afterthought as she fades away to motherhood.
Phueng: HAW Fans...HAW Women's division, and Kherti Bhakta... You're about to to find out a lot more about us. Edward, get out of our ring.
Edward Findleton left, and Mary Jane Elder's music played as she came down to the ring. She made sure to slap hands with the crowd, and was smiling and looking confident in her debut match.
The match started, with Phueng running right towards Mary Jane to attack her. Mary Jane ducked her attack and grabbed Phueng for a bulldog. Mary Jane started to climb to the top rope, but saw Lela LaCruse jump on the ring apron. Realizing she was in position to interfere with the top rope, she got down, but the distraction gave Phueng enough time to recover and attack Mary Jane from behind.
Phueng used various rest holds, and the crowd started to clap to get Mary Jane back. Feeding off the energy, she got to her feet, and fought back against Phueng. Mary Jane tried to gain momentum by going to the ropes for a running attack, but Lela pulled the rope down causing her to fall out of the ring..
Mary Jane got visibly frustrated, and turned towards Lela and began yelling at her. Mary Jane rolled back in the ring, still yelling at Lela, but Phueng took full advantage of this. Phueng hit the seated Mary Jane Elder with a Running Neck Twist, then quickly covered her for a pinfall victory.
Phueng and Lela posed over their fallen foe, and grabbed one of the ringside cameras.
Lela: See this Kherti? We're in your future. Get used to it!
All four members of the MuscleGang were walking backstage, looking dejected.
Frederic St. Pierre: ...I can't believe I lost the title.
Lovable Liam: ...And we lost a shot at the tag titles...
Crash: We went 0-4 last month. That's never happened in the history of the MuscleGang....you guys don't think we need to....split, do you?
Oden: ENOUGH! We all lost! But now we win! The MuscleGang will go 4-0 this month. I win this week. Liam next week! Fred the week after then Crash!
Crash: What are we even fighting for? Just...randomly throw together matches? At that rate we'll be...we'll be....dark match wrestlers! We need drama!
Liam: Please get Crash some drama! Please! He needs drama!
Oden: …....Then we do open challenge! I declare the MuscleGang Open Challenge on! We will take on all challengers!
As Oden screamed, people in the backstage area were seemingly avoiding eye contact with him, not really interested in this MuscleGang open challenge. However, walking with his head down, Jack Trailor accidentally bumped into Oden.
Jack: Oh, sorry, my bad.
Oden: Jack Trailor! You accepted the MuscleGang Open Challenge! Tonight, we go down to the ring, I beat you up, ok?!
Jack Trailor looked a bit confused, but nodded.
Jack: Ok. See you later.
Oden: 4-0! 4-0! 4-0!
Liam started to join in the “4-0” chant, followed by Fred and finally Crash. They walked off, leaving Jack Trailor very confused.
The Biofuel Engineer's music played, and they came out to the ring fast and with a purpose.
Sydney Mason: Cut our music, this is business time now. We're done playing games!
Dalton Elkins: We were promised a match against The Strange Crew for the Tag Team Titles. Last week was NOT what we were promised. We are respected wrestlers, not side show circus freaks!
Sydney Mason: And we are not leaving this ring until we get a fair rematch!
The Biofuel Engineers stood in the ring, waiting for a response. But to their surprise, Phoenix's music played, and he came out with Sentinel.
Phoenix: You want a fair rematch? You want a match by the rules of HAW? Then how about going back and forfeiting your match against us, when you low blowed Sentinel?!
Sentinel: I've been in this business before you guys graduated high school. You cheated us against us, and that's fine. That's part of wrestling, I get it. But what I can't stand, is entitled punks like you two coming in and demanding everything be handed to you in a silver platter. In this business, you earn your way to the top by taking every opportunity you're given, even if it means wrestling two mad men at a carnival! So shut up and quit complaining!
The Biofuel Engineers looked enraged and got in the face of Phoenix and Sentinel. The two groups were about to come to blows, when the Musical Lifeguard Chairs' theme played, and out came LaZor and Mr. Lifeguard.
Mr. Lifeguard: Calm down gentlemen! Calm down. We don't want anyone getting hurt outside of a legally sanctioned wrestling match!
LaZor: And we get it. All of you really do have a compelling story. Biofuel Engineers fighting in an unusual match...Sentinel and Phoenix, the rookie and vet looking for their shot at glory! But we have perhaps the most compelling reason for why we should be next in line for the titles.
Mr. Lifeguard: It would just be cool! Musical Lifeguard Chairs vs The Strange Crew! That just sounds like a fun match, am I right?
The crowd cheered, but The Biofuel Engineers looked like they weren't having any of it.
Dalton Elkins: No! WE are getting the match! It's not two nobody's who just came out of no where getting the match, it's not two washed up grandpas who have...what, one title between them in a combined 40 years? And that was when the one guy was in a mask pretending to be a termite!
Sydney Mason: He'd still be a cartoon character if we didn't rip it off!
The Biofuel Engineers laughed, and LaZor and Lifeguard looked a bit hurt by the comments. Suddenly, the lights in the arena went off, and the face of Drizzles appeared on the jumbotron.
Drizzles: Six stars in the ring of various heights
Who on earth will the Strange Crew fight?
Next week you will need to win our heart
Because the tag team challengers, we will choose that part!
The lights in the arena came on, and everything appeared normal for the three teams in the ring. Suddenly from the audience, a large group of people dressed as Drizzles and Hawaii started storming the ring. Being out numbered and not knowing who the real Strange Crew members were, the three teams fled up the ramp and to the back. With the ring filled with “clones,” the real Drizzles and Hawaii emerged from the group, got on the rope, and held the tag team titles up.
Oden Schreiner's music played, and out he came for the MuscleGang Open Challenge, pumped up and ready to fight. Moments later, Jack Trailor came out, still looking unsure of what he got himself into.
The bell rang, and Oden Schreiner immediately grappled with Jack. Jack was able to hold his own for a bit, but Oden's superior strength allowed him to grab Jack Trailor and slam him to the ground. Schreiner continued to pound on Trailor, not relenting. Oden finally dragged Jack up to his feet, and whipped him into the turnbuckle. Trailor stumbled backwards, and Oden grabbed his throat. With a quick lift up, Oden Schreiner delivered a choke slam to Jack Trailor, and covered him for the pin.
Edward Findleton: It looks like Jack Trailor could not win the prestigious MuscleGang Open Challenge this week, putting the members at 1-0 for the month!
THE Casey Gains: Not surprising, a goldfish is smarter than Jack Trailor! Edward, I think next week Lovable Liam will have much stiffer competition!
It was time for the main event of the night, the number one contenders match for the National Championship. Prior to the match, Scarred Badger came down to the ring, and joined Edward and Casey on commentary.
Edward: You got that headset on? Ok good! It looks like Scarred Badger is here to scout out his competition, former National Champion Ruslan Panov and a powerful luchador, El Espectro! What's your thoughts going into this match?
Scarred Badger: ….................
Edward: A man of few words!
El Espectro came out first. Before going into the ring, he stood in front of the announce table, and simply stared at Scarred Badger. Neither man flinched or reacted to any emotion, until Ruslan Panov's music hit. El Espectro finally turned away and got in the ring and Ruslan made his way towards the ring.
With both competitors ready, the match was underway. The men circled each other, testing the waters. Ruslan tried to use his strikes, going for some punches, then some kicks. El Espectro caught a kick, and managed to clothesline Panov to the ground.
El Espectro took over, using his power style to give Ruslan Panov various slams.
Edward Findleton: Two different styles, strikes vs slams. Any preference on what you'll fare better against?
Scarred Badger: ….........
El Espectro stayed in control, and irish whipped Panov to the ropes. He went for another clothesline, but Panov ducked, and Espectro hit referee Tom Hunter! Espectro didn't seem concerned for the ref, and went back to attacking Ruslan Panov. He lifted him up, and tossed him outside the ring near the announce table. El Espectro walked out of the ring, and pointed at Scarred Badger, taunting him. When Espectro turned towards Panov, Panov had reached under the ring, grabbed a nightstick, and clubbed El Espectro in the ribs.
THE Casey Gains: Desperation AND illegal maneuvers while the ref is down! I'm impressed with Ruslan Panov!
Scarred Badger was now smiling and seemed very interested in the match, as Panov continued wailing on Espectro. Panov put the nightstick to El Espectro's throat, and started to choke him out. Espectro passed out, and Panov rolled him into the ring just as referee Tom Hunter started to come too. Panov put an arm over El Espectro, and got the long 3 count!
Edward Findleton: There we have it! Scarred Badger vs Ruslan Panov for the National Championship next week! Scarred Badger, what do you think about- Hey, where are you going?!
Scarred Badger left the announce area, and grabbed the nightstick. While Panov was celebrating, Scarred Badger slid into the ring behind him. Panov turned around, and quickly stepped back as he saw Badger holding the nightstick. Scarred Badger laughed, then calmly walked over to Ruslan Panov. He handed the nightstick to him, then patted him on his shoulder and nodded, before exiting the ring. Ruslan Panov was left holding the nightstick and looking back at the departing Scarred Badger to end the show!
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