Dark Match: Summer Fun (Maple Blossom/Daisy Fields) defeated local talents Bella Dawson and Dixie Boyle, and The Rookie Kyle Higgins defeated Georgios Stanellis
The HAW Theme played to start the show.
Edward Findleton: Welcome everyone to HAW! We’re in Memphis, Tennessee tonight, and we have some breaking news: The HAW National Championship will be defended TONIGHT! Pastor James will take on Jet Black!
THE Casey Gains: And maybe we can get an answer to what happened with Crash MuscleGate? Maybe?
Edward Findleton: We’ll have to see!
Athena’s music played, and she made her way to the ring, microphone in hand.
Athena: Last week, I was challenged for this title by a Stunt Pilot. Sekino is a tough competitor. The women’s division has never seen anything like her, and I welcome her as a challenger. We should be facing the best of the best. Sekino, I’d like you to join me in this ring right now, to shake your hand and tell you, let the best wrestler win.
Athena waited a few moments and eventually Sekino came out. The Stunt Pilot entered the ring, and Athena extended her hand. Sekino waited, looking at the hand. Then she grasped Athena’s hand and quickly pulled her close. The two women stared eye to eye, until Sekino started to look at Athena’s title. Sekino then grabbed Athena’s mic and held it between them.
Sekino: Show ME you are a worthy champion. Last week, 6 minutes, 29 seconds, I beat Daisy. Let’s see if you beat Maple faster next week. Like a real champion.
Athena: You think I’m not worthy? I’m a three time Women’s champion. The first one ever. I’m worthy Sekino.
Sekino: Prove it.
Sekino smiled and exited the ring, leaving Athena looking annoyed.
Edward Findleton: So I guess we have a beat the clock challenge next week! On the line….Sekino’s definition of worthiness!
THE Casey Gains: Every match is important, but Athena needs to focus more on the bigger picture. Next week is a scrimmage, two weeks will be the real deal.
Edward Findleton: Well for this week, we will be having our opening bout shortly!
The United States came out first, but was followed shortly by Peter “Carnage” Horn and Alfred Karneus.
In a dominant performance, Peter “Carnage” Horn defeated The United States in 1:46. Alfred Karneus took out a pin and in chapter six of the Book of Carnage, wrote The United States.
Edward Findleton: Another dominant performance by this young specimen of a wrestler!
THE Casey Gains: The United States tried everything he could in this match, including hiding behind the American flag and using it as a shield, but Horn didn’t care. One Side Sitout Powerslam later and this was over!
Edward Findleton: I have to say Casey, that-
The screen went static, then black. After a few seconds, it faded in to Crash MuscleGate in a dark area, strapped to a futuristic chair and a single light above him.
Crash: Hello? Anyone? Help! Help me!
Glenny Pax: You’ve woken up.
Glenny Pax and two visitors stepped into the light, surrounding Crash.
Crash: Glenny! Hey! I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to listen. I donated $5 to the gofundme search party for you. I’m happy you’re alive! But you gotta let me go, ok?
Glenny Pax: You have something I desire. You have…the HAW World Championship. Crash….I will defeat you for that HAW World Championship. I will rule the solar system, and it will no longer be the world championship…but the intergalactic championship!
Crash: Ok dude! I’m not sure how that will work out legally, I know Freezerman and marketing spent a lot of money on branding it as the world championship, but we can discuss that with him, right? Also, you won’t beat me, but I encourage a nice fair effort on earth.
Glenny Pax: Oh? I won’t beat you? Hmmm…perhaps not. You are in fine shape Crash. Very fine shape. But how will your body feel after all this time in low gravity? Or the exposure to your star’s radiation?
Crash: I’m not afraid of that Glenny. I’m in the best shape of my life.
Glenny: Crash….do you know why oftentimes…strange things happen to herds of cattle? Reports of extraterrestrial phenomena? No? Visitors! Show Crash our project!
A few more visitors walked up, pushing a cart that had around 50 cheeseburgers stacked on it.
Crash: No…no…NO! Wait, Glenny! My calorie intake! It’s going to be too much!
Glenny grabbed a cheeseburger, and started to force it into Crash’s mouth. Crash made a muffled scream in protest, as Glenny Pax started to laugh maniacally.
The feed went static, then cut back to ringside, where Club Corruption was in the ring, awaiting their opponents.
Edward Findleton: And Night Prince and Ninja can make a big name for themselves tonight if they can defeat the tag champs!
Liam and St. Pierre came out next with Oden Schreiner in their corner. The match went for 8:55 before St. Pierre pinned Ninja with a Butterfly DDT.
As Liam and Frederic celebrated, the Biofuel Engineers ran from the crowd and slid into the ring to attack the two from behind. Dalton and Sydney started to get a few shots in, but Oden quickly came in for the save. Dalton and Sydney wisely backed off, taunting the MuscleGang as they retreated.
Edward Findleton: And what a terribly ineffective post match beatdown!
THE Casey Gains: Is it really? They still managed to get a couple of solid shots in on Lovable Liam and Frederic St. Pierre, and The Biofuel Engineers got away unscathed!
Edward Findleton: I’m not buying it Casey! Not this time! Terrible execution!
THE Casey Gains: You can’t deny my veteran input! You know what? I’ll do your job. We’re going backstage to Gregory Greystone!
Gregory Greystone: Hello ladies and gentlemen! I’m being joined right now by The Iconoclast. Last week, you declared yourself a solo competitor, but lost to Fun Fight Machine. How do you feel?
The Iconoclast: How do I feel? What kind of question is that?! You want to know how I feel? This is how I feel!
The Iconoclast picked Gregory up and tossed him into the wall. As Gregory fell to the ground, the Iconoclast kicked him in the ribs, then picked up Gregory’s microphone.
The Iconoclast: I don’t feel too good. I’m mad. I wasn’t ready last week. Fun Fight Machine…I want a rematch. Next week, you’ll be the one crying in the ground in pain, like this!
The Iconoclast stomped on Gregory one last time, then threw the mic down and walked away.
Edward Findleton: Folks we’ll be getting some medical attention for Gregory, I hope he’s ok!
THE Casey Gains: He’ll be fine Edward, a little bruised this week but don’t you worry, we’ll see him again.
Edward Findleton: The show must go on! It’s time for our main event, it’s the HAW National Championship on the line as Pastor James defends against Jet Black!
Both competitors made their respective entrances. Pastor James tried to get Jet Black to join him in a prayer before the match, but Black pushed him away.
In a tough match lasting 14:44, Pastor James attacked Jet Black with a chair, causing an intentional disqualification and giving Jet Black the victory.
Edward Findleton: And James had enough! He tried everything he could think of on Jet Black, but just couldn’t get the pinfall!
While Jet Black was on the ground in the ring injured, James simply took his title and retreated to the back.
Edward Findleton: Casey, can you defend this? Can you explain just how this is fair?
THE Casey Gains: Hold up Edward! Hold up………ok. We just got word from the back, from Freezerman himself, that he will not override the referees decision tonight but that Pastor James WILL be defending the National championship against Jet Black a second time! We will have more details next week!
Edward Findleton: Perhaps a fair fight will be on the horizon! Good night everybody!
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