Dark Matches: The Strange Crew (Jessie Parran and Smiling Sally) defeated Sophie Lester and Makayla Wren, El Termitas II defeated Caleb Wonder
HAW opened up with Alfred Karneus and Peter “Carnage” Horn standing in the ring already.
Alfred Karneus: Hello Atlantic City. Allow me to read you an excerpt from one of my favorite books…Chapter 16, the Book of Carnage. Peter Horn debuted in HAW in January of 2022. Over two years later, he has yet to lose a match, defeating every challenger HAW has offered! Peter “Carnage” Horn leaves no doubt in one's mind that he is indeed, the best wrestler to ever set foot in the ring. The only thing missing from Chapter 16 is the ending words…and that’s the name of Franco Mancini, and the closing sentence…Peter “Carnage” Horn, the new HAW World Champion!
Franco Mancini’s music cut off Karneus, and without showing fear, Franco made his way down to the ring.
Franco Mancini: Fifteen previous wins, hey, it’s impressive, I give you that Horn. You’re a strong guy, you’re tough. But I’m not worried about you. See, your little mouth piece over there said you’ve defeated every challenger. But now? YOU are the challenger. YOU have the pressure to defeat me. I can handle that pressure. You’re a young kid who’s beat up little pipsqueaks. You can’t handle a championship match.
Horn approached Franco, and the two men went forehead to forehead, until Mitchell Row’s music played, and he came out accompanied by Georgios Stanellis, Kitty Kayleen, and Scarred Badger.
Mitchell Row: What is going on?! Why are you two arguing? When did this become something official? Franco, you’re defending against him because his music played last week? That means nothing! My music played now! That means I jump over him in line and I should challenge for the World Championship!
Alfred Karneus: Freezerman approved of this match…but Franco, you think Peter “Carnage” Horn can’t pressure? Watch this. Row, how about right now, we have a match to see who will be the number one contender.
Mitchell huddled his group together for a quick word, then nodded. All other parties left the ring save for Peter Horn and Mitchell Row, and referee Tom Hunter ran down to the ring to start the match.
Edward Findleton: An impromptu match, and Horn is eager to show he is ready for a title match!
Both competitors got offense in, with strong impactful attacks from each. As Horn started to take control, outside of the ring Alfred Kanreus and Franco Mancini started to exchange words. Horn hit his Side Sitout Powerslam, but at that moment Franco grabbed Karneus.
Tom Hunter got distracted and rushed out of the ring to try and break up the fight. As Horn tried to get Hunter back in the ring, a groggy Row getting to his feet looked to Scarred Badger and asked for help. Badger took out his sock full of quarters and crept into the ring. He aimed at Horn, but Horn ducked and hit Row square in the face. Row was knocked out and Horn threw Badger from the ring, right into Mancini, allowing Karneus to go free. Horn got ontop of Row and easily pinned him for 3.
Edward Findleton: And it’s official! Peter “Carnage” Horn will challenge Franco Mancini at Downtown Disaster! An impressive win!
THE Casey Gains: He probably had it won at the Side Sitout Powerslam, but the quarters definitely sealed the deal. The biggest issue though…is this technically chapter 16 in the Book of Carnage now, and Chapter 17 is Franco? Karneus and Horn are getting out of here and maybe back to the writer’s studio.
As Franco departed, Stanellis and Badger helped Row to the back. Before reaching the curtain, RJ Bu and Niko Green came out for their entrance. Bu and Green laughed at Row, their former opponent, and made their way to the ring.
RJ Bu: What up AC? Woo yeah! Bu and Green in the house!
Niko Green: You know, last week we beat those idiots. Honestly, the toughest part was making sure RJ wasn’t distracted by Kitty. So we want another challenge. This month, we want to defend against a good team who hasn’t had a chance yet to win these titles. We want someone to seize this opportunity, just like RJ and I did.
At that point, Club Corruption came down to the ring, as Ninja handed Night Prince a microphone.
Night Prince: So my little peasants, be careful what-
Niko Green: I’m stopping you right there. I said a good team. You two suck, you don’t qualify.
RJ Bu: Next!
Night Prince fumed, and without warning hit Green over the head with the microphone. Ninja gave a low blow kick to RJ Bu, and Club Corruption started beating down on Bu and Green.
Edward Findleton: What a cheapshot from those two!
At that point, the Samurais of Power rushed down to the ring. Sensei Onaga, Trickshot, and Ozzie Reagan quickly took control, chasing Club Corruption out of the ring and helped Bu and Green. As Night Prince and Ninja fled, Bu and Green gave a nod of respect to the Samurai’s, and exited with them.
THE Casey Gains: Well if Bu and Green have the power to decide their opponents, I’d say saving them from a beatdown is a way to get in their good graces.
Edward Findleton: I’d say Club Corruption needs to recruit Jet Black back, but he’s ready for action in our next match!
Jet Black made his entrance, and was followed by his opponent Fun Fight Machine. Fun Fight Machine gave it his all, but Jet Black was ultimately able to pick up the victory in 7:43 with a schoolboy pin. Dejected at the loss, Fun Fight Machine made his way to the back, his head down.
Backstage, The Stable were doing a photoshoot, posing for profile pictures with the HAW Tag Team titles. At that point, the Exotic Delights, Phueng Ahunai and Lela LaCruse approached.
Lela LaCruse: Oops, sorry, are we intruding? We didn’t mean too.
Jenna Ingram: If you didn’t, then you’re blind. And personally, I don’t know any blind wrestlers.
Zoey Chambers: Jenna you can’t say that! We should encourage blind wrestlers to follow their dreams! ….Because I don’t know any either, honestly.
Phueng Ahunai: Look, we don’t want a fight now. We just were hoping for a fight…maybe at Downtown Disaster, if you catch our drift?
Hazel Glover: You mean like..a title defense? Do we get a say in that? I don’t really understand how they work here. Did we even read that contract we signed?
Zoey Chambers: Relax Hazel, you got this. We were given this opportunity by Summer Fun being gracious champions, so you do the same!. You look them straight in the eye and say “We accept, and may the best woman win!”
Lela LaCruse: Wow, thanks for being so-
Hazel Glover: We accept, and may the best woman win!
Lela LaCruse: …kind. Well, we’ll see you girls in a few weeks! Catch ya later!
The Exotic Delights, and Jenna shook her head.
Jenna Ingram: I don’t trust them. Not after when they cheated to beat us last year. Those two, they’re bad news…
At that point, Pastor James, Dixie Boyle, and Ivy Clarke approached them.
Pastor James: Ah, The Stable! My good friends! You know, a little birdy told me you needed to defend your tag titles, and why, Dixie and Ivy right here-
Hazel Glover: Um…Mr…Pastor..sir?
Pastor James: Please, call me James.
Hazel Glover: ….James, we already agreed to defend our titles. I’m sorry.
Pastor James’ face grew angry, before forcing a smile.
Pastor James: I see. Then good luck. Girls, let's go find somewhere else we can get involved in!
Back at ringside, Douglas Brunswick’s music hit, and he made his way down to the ring, mic in hand.
Douglas Brunswick: So last week…I got hit from behind…twice. And I still almost won. I’m not really a fan of sneak attacks, I’d rather go face to face. Or even, face to face to face to face to face. Glenny, I don’t care if you’ve got an Insomniac under mind control, if you’ve got a Cyberhemoth or even a Venator…I think if I’m ready…I can honestly beat all of you.
Edward Findleton: I admire Brunswick’s confidence but this seems a bit much…
The arena lights went out and Glenny Pax’s music started up, as he walked down to the ring accompanied by Cyberhemoth, Kenneth Cobb, and The Venator. As they got to the ring, they circled to the back half, and entered.
Glenny Pax: Douglas Brunswick…I’m usually not merciful, but humans truly have inferior intellect, you leave me no choice. You can exit that ring right now, and walk up the ramp, and not get destroyed. We’ve beaten you. If you don’t leave now, we will destroy you, and you will never be healthy enough to set foot in a wrestling ring again. So go. We’ve left an exit for you.
Brunswick looked back up the ramp, seemingly contemplating his choice, before shaking his head and taking a step towards The Visitors.
Glenny Pax: Amazing. You’re actually choosing to be a useless specimen. Very well.
Glenny took a step towards Brunswick, but at that point, The MuscleGang’s music hit, and out came Crash MuscleGate, Frederic St. Pierre, and Lovable Liam. Brunswick looked shocked, and the MuscleGang stood side by side with him.
THE Casey Gains: Is this an alliance? Brunswick has always hated Crash but…Glenny did defeat Crash for the title once!
Crash looked to Liam and Frederic, then to Douglas, and gave a nod. The MuscleGang charged the Visitors, and a brawl broke out in the ring. Crash went after Cyberhemoth, Douglas went after Glenny, Liam went after Cobb, and St. Pierre after the Venator. Slowly, the MuscleGang started to clear the Visitors from the ring, until the four stood tall. Glenny Pax was outraged, and walked up the ramp with his group.
Edward Findleton: And it’s not Brunswick retreating, but Glenny! Maybe not how Brunswick planned it, but successful nonetheless!
THE Casey Gains: But does Douglas fully trust Crash right now!? I mean these two were bitter enemies!
Edward Findleton: Well Casey, in this instance, he was left with no choice!
Backstage, Fun Fight Machine was sitting at his locker, his head in his hands. Phoenix came into view and put a hand on Fun’s back.
Phoenix: It sucks, doesn’t it? When you have these high hopes and then…it just crashes back to earth.
Fun Fight Machine: Yes. Another loss tonight.
Phoenix: Sometimes I think I was forgotten about. World Champ for a month and lost it…and nothing really good sense.
Fun Fight Machine: And I think…I should have stayed in Japan. Maybe I will go to Freezerman and ask to be released.
Phoenix: You could do that. But see, I think you and I have the same problem. Wrestling…just isn’t fun anymore. It’s the pressure to succeed, to be the best. It’s a job now, and we forget why we started…and what brought us here. No one wants to be a pro wrestler to feel pain every night. Why did you want to be a pro wrestler?
Fun Fight Machine: ………….As a child, I was fascinated by all the acrobatics. It was like you could fly.
Phoenix: I hear you. And for me, I always felt like I could be…this superhero, and have people look up to me if I could just show them who I am. My point is, wrestling used to be this fun dream we had….well, I say, let’s put the fun back into wrestling. Or even better, the fun back into Fun Fight Machine. I’ve got a plan if you’re willing to listen.
Phoenix helped Fun up, and the two walked away.
Back at ringside, Cole Arcane’s music started up, and the crowd cheered. Arcane got to the ring and briefly smiled, taking in the reaction.
Edward Findleton: A great reaction for HAW’s newest roster member!
Arcane opened his mouth to speak, and brought the mic up, but was cut off by Harvey Allison’s music. Allison walked down to the ring with a purpose, and stared down Cole Arcane.
Harvey Allison: What Arcane? What? Are you about to tell everyone why you’re here? Allow me to do that for you! Ladies and Gentlemen, Cole Arcane is her because he is a loser! He was so bad at his last job, he couldn’t handle it, and he ended up here! Maybe as a nice thank you for all your years in this business doing…pretty much nothing of note, honestly. But I understand! You wanted to have your career defining moment in HAW…and what better way to make an impact…than interrupting Handsome Harvey Allison!
Arcane looked bewildered at Allison, who smiled and posed for the crowd for a brief moment, ignoring the boo’s.
Harvey Allison: Thank you. Now I know exactly how this all plays out. You can’t stand me. You’re mad that your big moment already happened! Last week, you peaked! And now you see what a bright future I have, and you’re upset you won’t get that! Am I right? And I know exactly what you’re going to do. You’re going to be so angry, you’ll do another cheap shot to my face, in a desperate attempt to regain that feeling of glory you had last week. Go ahead, do it.
Arcane sighed and shook his head, dropped the mic, and went to the back without saying a word.
Edward Findleton: Well…atleast Handsome Harvey’s face is safe?
THE Casey Gains: I think Harvey got every prediction.
Edward Findleton: Well Casey, I predict we’re about to go backstage to meet with Gregory Greystone!
Backstage, Gregory stood alone.
Gregory Greystone: Hello ladies and gentlemen! I’m being joined by-
Mayor Briggs: The HAW National Champion, mate!
Mayor Briggs, Bigg Pimpin’ Alex, and The United States all stepped into view.
Gregory Greystone: Mayor Briggs, congratulations on a successful title defense against El Espectro.
Mayor Briggs: Thank ya, thank ya. See, that luchador ghost guy, he was always the weak link anyway. Better off without him and that other fool King Donovan! They’re old news! The new news? Well hot off the press, Mayor Briggs is announcing some promotions to his City Council! That’s right, Alex over here is now the official…Executive Treasurer!
Bigg Pimpin’ Alex: Damn right I am!
Mayor Briggs: And over here, Mr. United States himself is now….The Chief Clerk!
The United States: I always dreamed of being a clerk!
Mayor Briggs: So things are looking mighty great for us to be honest!
From behind, Phoenix and Fun Fight Machine hit Briggs and the United States with a chair. They looked at Alex who blacked away, and Gregory took off screaming.
Phoenix: See? A good old fashioned chair shot! Now THAT’S fun!
Fun Fight Machine: And…and…Mayor Briggs! Phoenix challenges you for the National Championship.
Phoenix: Dude, you didn’t have to do that.
Fun Fight Machine: It is your turn for a match. I help, and we have fun!
Fun and Phoenix high fived each other and left Briggs and The United States writhing on the ground in pain.
Edward Findleton: Well we’ll have to see how Briggs responds, but our main event has championship implications of its own. It’s Moonlight vs Ashley Cannonball, in a number one contender’s match for the HAW Women’s Championship!
Moonlight made her way down first, followed by Ashley Cannonball. Before the match started, Penny Downs rushed out to the stage with a microphone.
Penny Downs: Wait! Wait! Look….last week, I know that I didn’t win. But I also didn’t lose! I deserve a second chance. I want to be in this match. Kherti, if you’re back there, please! Let me be in this!
After a few moments Kherti came out. Kherti seemed reluctant but finally nodded, and pointed to the ring. Penny excitedly sprinted to the ring.
Edward Findleton: And…well, it’s a triple threat now!
Penny gave everything she had in this match, including breaking up a few close pinfalls Moonlight nearly had over Ashley Cannonball. However, Penny was finally able to come out on top when Moonlight hit a Gourdbuster on Ashley, but Penny threw Moonlight out of the ring and pinned Ashley Cannonball in 8:29.
Edward FIndleton: And Penny “The Hammer” Downs steals a victory!
THE Casey Gains: Nothing stolen, it’s legal triple threat rules! …Unless you count inserting herself at the last minute, then yeah, she stole it. And props to her for getting in the match!
Edward Findleton: It looks like we’ll see a rematch of Penny Downs vs Kherti Bhakta at Downtown Disaster, and we’ll see you next week! Good night!
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