Dark Matches: Sentinel and Phoenix defeated local talents Dexter Burns and Wesley Wagner, The United States defeated local talent Tyler Ford
HAW kicked off with Athena’s music playing, and the HAW Women’s Champion made her way out.
Edward Findleton: Welcome! We’re in Buffalo, New York and we aren’t wasting any time, Athena is on her way out!
As Athena came to the ring, she held the title up and took in the applause. She finally grabbed a mic, and looked about ready to speak, when The Solo Girls music interrupted her, as Crystal Cyclone and Rachel came out.
THE Casey Gains: All the women’s gold is in the ring now!
Athena simply smiled as the other two got to the ring. They held their titles up, but did not receive the same cheers as Athena did.
Crystal: So….what are YOU doing out here?
Athena: I was asked to come out and talk about the future of the Women’s Championship. But I’ll start off by extending congratulations. You’ve put in your hard work, your strategy worked, and you’ll make fine champions.
Rachel: I wish we could believe you’re genuine.
Crystal: Yeah. You act like you’re happy, but YOU start the show? We’re the first ever tag team champions, we’ve made history, we’re the talk of the town. WE should be the focus, we should be having a celebration, but once again, we’re just passed over!
Athena bit her lip and nodded.
Athena: I see your point. But keep in mind, this is my first real chance to come out and talk to the crowd since my championship victory too. Maybe we can share this?
Crystal: Share this? Hey! We worked day in and day out for this. Your championship victory? You got pregnant, missed a year, and were gifted a title shot!
Rachel: It’s like, the only title you know, is your sense of entitlement!
Crystal: Good one!
Rachel and Crystal high fived each other and laughed, while Athena tried to remain calm.
Athena: Look, I’m going to continue to take the high road, because I’m going to set a good example for my family. I’m not going to trade insults, not going to attack you, I’m just going to do my job. Tonight, Kitty Kayleen will take on Penny “The Hammer” Downs in a number one contender’s match to see who will face me at HAW Shootout!
Athena threw the mic down and left the ring as her music played. Crystal and Rachel tried to talk but it appears their mics were cut, as they shouted at Athena as she walked up the ramp.
Edward Findleton: Folks, that’s going to be our main event tonight!
THE Casey Gains: And the Solo Girls don’t seem happy about it!
The Biofuel Engineers, Sydney Mason and Dalton Elkins, were walking around backstage, when they both stopped, then smiled at each other. They continued walking until they reached two women staff members.
Dalton: Hey there, good looking ladies!
Sydney: You seem like you need some help…maybe you want to spend some time with the Biofuel Engineers?
Woman1: Oh! You’re the engineers? I can show you the generators, we’ve been waiting for you to show up!
Dalton: Well we’re actually the Biofuel Engineers but we can…generate some heat between us.
Woman2: I think you misunderstood, it’s got nothing to do with the heating, it’s actually the cooling units that aren’t being powered.
Dalton and Sydney looked at each other, but decided to give it one last try.
Sydney: You know….Buffalo is a great city…and baby…I’d love to try some of your spicy buffalo wings.
Woman1: Ohhhh! You guys need catering! Sorry for the misunderstanding! That’s down the hallway!
Sydney and Dalton both sighed in frustration and gave up, walking away. At that point, RJ Bu walked up to the two women.
RJ Bu: What up bitches?!
Woman1: Excuse me?!
RJ Bu: Relax girl, relax….just pranking you! See, I’m actually a psychic and this is the future. I’m going to be wrestling tonight, and after that match….I’m going to drive by here in my new Aston Martin, and show two lucky ladies a night around town. You dig what I’m saying? So here’s my number and I’ll see you in an hour, got it?
Woman1: ….That sounds totally cool!
Woman2: We’re so in!
RJ Bu: The names RJ Bu. I’ll catch you later.
RJ Bu walked off smiling, and went right past the Biofuel Engineers, who looked enraged.
THE Casey Gains: Do you think RJ Bu’s Aston Martin uses biofuel?
Edward Findleton: I highly doubt it! But before we get to his match, we’ve got our first contest of the night!
Peter “Carnage” Horn’s music hit, and he came out with Alfred Karneus, who was now holding a physical book titled “The Book of Carnage”, and showed the camera a blank page titled “Chapter 5.” As Horn got ready, Strawberry Bates Hill came out next.
Edward Findleton: Another head to head match between two rookies!
In a short match lasting just 57 seconds, Peter “Carnage” Horn pinned Strawberry Bates Hill after a Side Sitout Powerslam.
After the match, Alfred Karneus simply wrote the name of Strawberry Bates Hill under chapter 5, and closed the book.
Edward Findleton: And just like that, Peter Horn’s winning streak continues! Another chapter in the book closed!
As the ring was cleared, Pastor James’s music played, and he made out his way down to the ring with the HAW National Championship.
Pastor James: Brothers…sisters…I’m glad you’re here to join me today. I’m blessed to be in this ring in front of you, and so grateful to be standing here with this HAW National Championship. You know, this is the first championship I won here in HAW. A lot has happened since then…a lot has changed. But last week, I won this title for the second time. And that’s why I want all of us here to focus on that number…the number 2. This is my second time with this title, and it coincides with my second chance. I think as we go through life, we just always focus on being number 1…but it’s the 2 that really matters. I can’t be first, if I don’t have the Lord backing me up as my strong second. And as I won my first match last week with this HAW National Championship, I plan to win a second match. But I want to know who will have the honor of being my number 2.
Pastor James smiled and looked up the ramp, awaiting something.
Edward Findleton: I THINK he’s asking for his challenger?
THE Casey Gains: Either that or making some bathroom analogy, I’m not sure which.
James motioned for someone to come out, looking eager. Suddenly, the music of the Musical Lifeguard Chairs hit, and Pastor James eyes went wide in surprise.
Edward Findleton: What?!
LaZor and Mr. Lifeguard both came out to a huge cheer, though both were dressed in street clothes. The two pumped the crowd as they made their way to the ring and grabbed microphones.
LaZor: Whoa! Calhoun! It looks like you’ve seen a ghost!
Mr. Lifeguard: A…holy ghost?!
Lifeguard and LaZor laughed as Pastor James forced a smile.
Pastor James: My good friends! It’s been a long time but…you’re retired. And I can’t defend my title against two of you!
LaZor: Are you sure? Last time we were in this ring, we defeated you.
Mr. Lifeguard: And that loss caused your entire life to collapse until you no longer had anything and were forced to scam people in a new way!
James started to look angry, when LaZor and Lifeguard laughed again.
Mr. Lifeguard: Relax! We’re not here to beat you and take your title. We ARE retired.
The crowd started to boo, and a “One more match” chant started.
Mr. Lifeguard: I’m sorry. We really appreciate it, but LaZor has been touring with Maelstrom, and they just released a new album, “Lightning Strikes the Zeppelin” which is quite possibly the best metal album I’ve ever heard in my life!
LaZor: Thank you! And Mr. Lifeguard has actually broken the record in his time off for most lives saved in an UCLA Swim Meet in February!
Mr. Lifeguard: Which coincidentally enough is…2!
LaZor: And James, you’re right, the number to focus on today IS 2. See, I’ve also been scouting on my own, trying to find….someone who can live up to a legacy I helped create. And on a trip to Mexico, I found that wrestler….and he’s going to be your next challenger. Ladies and Gentlemen, please gie it up for…..El Termitas II!
A new theme started to play, and taking on the colors yellow and orange colors, but slightly altered attire, was a masked cruiserweight wrestler, El Termitas II. He ran to the ring and got right up in Pastor James face, then pointed at the National Championship. James looked annoyed and simply left the ring, as LaZor and Lifeguard tried to pump the crowd up for El Termitas II.
Edward Findleton: And an interesting development here! We’ve got a fresh rookie, El Termitas II, taking on Pastor James!
THE Casey Gains: I’m hearing that will take place at Shootout too, and that works out well for James. He’s going to need to use these next weeks to scout his competition!
The next match was up on the card, as Asher Sutton came down to the ring, followed by RJ Bu shortly after. In a decently even match, RJ Bu won in 8:31 with a Corkscrew Neckbreaker.
As RJ Bu was celebrating his victory, The Biofuel Engineers music hit and they started to make their way down to the ring.
Edward Findleton: Uh oh…this doesn’t look good for RJ.
THE Casey Gains: Unless his Aston Martin can fit 5 people comfortably, I’m going to agree with you.
Sydney and Dalton surrounded RJ, looking to intimidate him. RJ started to beg, but the Biofuel Engineers had enough. They started attacking RJ Bu, beating him down. As the stomps continued, Niko Green came running down to the ring with a simple belt. He whipped it at Dalton who screamed and pain and rolled out of the ring. Sydney not wanting to suffer the same fate quickly jumped over the ring ropes.
Edward Findleton: Niko Green?! I don’t understand!
As the Biofuel Engineers retreated, RJ Bu slowly started to get to his feet. He looked up at Niko Green, then motioned to the ringside area, where a staff member gave Bu his blazer. He reached in, pulled his wallet out, and handed a stack of cash to Niko Green. Niko looked at the money in disgust, crumpled it up, and threw it right back in Bu’s face before exiting as well.
THE Casey Gains: Well we can probably add RJ Bu into the list of people who don’t understand too.
Edward Findleton: We will have to see where this goes! But stick around, we coming up next we will hear from The MuscleGang!
The screen went dark, and a prerecorded video played of Glenny Pax, seemingly in a space ship and looking out a window at stars in space. He turned towards the camera.
Glenny Pax: Greetings earthlings. Seven of your planetary rotations ago, you saw me and my visitors. That is a taste of what is to come as soon we will take over….the world!
The screen went dark again, and back to the normal HAW show as The MuscleGang’s music played and all four members came out.
Lovable Liam: Welcome to the true Tag Team Championship Celebration Extravaganza!
Liam and Frederic held up their titles to cheers from the crowd.
Frederic St. Pierre: Merci, merci! To win this title with my friend, it is an honor. I am so happy for you Liam. I am happy for all of us!
Lovable Liam: We did it partner! All of us have had our failures…our successes...but now…after this moment, we can all retire champions! Goodnight everybody, and thank you!
Crash: …Wait, you guys are retiring? I’m not retiring.
Lovable Liam: No. We aren’t. But it would have been really beautiful, right? Like if someone is making our biopic, they can use that line and end it here. Throw in some sappy music and roll the footage of our early days, you know?
Crash: Oh good thinking Liam! I like it!
At that point, Douglas Brunswick’s music cut them off as he and Mayor Briggs made their way out to the ring, mic in hands.
Douglas Brunswick: I hate to ruin your fairytale ending, but we’re about to send you back to reality. Because when we are finished with all of you, Hollywood won’t give a damn about your stories! Crash, I promise I will do everything in my power to get the title off you!
Oden: You two are losers!
Douglas Brunswick: We aren’t losers! We had unfair circumstances going against us in our title matches!
Crash: Excuse me? I don’t even understand how you arrive at that conclusion. Illogical!
Mayor Briggs: Mate, I just wanted a nice, clean match. Best on best….and then two of you attack my friend, for no reason? How am I supposed to compete, when I know my opponent is a soulless, killing machine who has no compassion for his fellow man?!
Crash: You stood in a corner and did nothing!
Mayor Briggs: A valid wrestling strategy!
Lovable Liam: Regardless though…HAW doesn’t allow title rematches out of thin air!
At that point, Viking’s music played, and he came out with The Iconoclast, joining the others in the ring.
Viking: I actually agree with Liam. We know how this is run. Freezerman doesn’t like title matches. I mean, sure Kitty Kayleen is in a number one contender’s match tonight, but the rules get bent for certain people…but not people like us. Briggs, Brunswick, we get the short end of the stick every time, so…I propose a temporary alliance. Brunswick, you want to make sure Crash loses that title? How about if you help me win that….The Iconoclast and myself will help you take the tag titles from those two?
Brunswick and Briggs huddled together for a few moments, then nodded.
Brunswick: …Obviously, I’d love to see defeat Crash…but you’re right. I’m not going into that title picture anytime soon. We’ve got a deal.
The four men each shook hands.
Mayor Briggs: Well boys, maybe you’ll be getting your Hollywood ending afterall…it’s just going to be coming real soon!
Crash: Think that. We’re all ready to defend our titles at Shootout. We’ll seen you then.
The MuscleGang threw their mics down and left, as the challengers watched them leave.
Edward Findleton: So we have two more matches at Shootout! Viking vs Crash, and Briggs and Brunswick vs Liam and St. Pierre!
THE Casey Gains: And we’re moments away from finding out who Athena will be defending against! Kitty Kayleen vs Penny “The Hammer” Downs is next!
For the main event, Kitty Kayleen was accompanied by her husband Mitchell Row, while Penny “The Hammer” Downs came out alone.
It was a back and forth match, but Kitty Kayleen picked up the victory in 11:14 with a Cravate Suplex, and the help of Mitchell Row.
THE Casey Gains: And Kitty Kayleen EARNS her rematch against Athena!
Edward Findleton: With a big assist from Mitchell Row! It looked like Penny had the match won until Row put Kitty’s foot on the rope, then appeared to slide a bottle of cologne to Kitty that she discreetly sprayed in Penny’s eyes!
THE Casey Gains: Regardless, this power couple has shown their a force to reckon with! They’re ready for Athena, the question is if she’ll be ready for them!
Edward Findleton: We’ll see in a few weeks at Shootout! So long everybody, good night!
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