Dark Matches: The MuscleGang (Crash MuscleGate, Oden Schreiner, Frederic St. Pierre, Lovable Liam) defeated local talents Knox Madden, Marc Sawyer, Adam Burton, and Max Wilkerson, Athena defeated local talent Bethany Watts
Edward Findleton: Welcome to HAW! We’re here in New Orleans, and our main event is the O’Toole Brothers vs Sentinel and Phoenix, but we’re kicking the show off right from where we left off last week, with The Insomniac, Kenneth Cobb!
Kenneth Cobb made his way to ring, ready for a match. Glenny Pax’s music played next, but out came a single visitor.
In a short match that Cobb dominated, The Insomniac knocked a Visitor unconscious with the Sleeper Hold.
As the match ended, Glenny Pax appeared on the jumbotron, seemingly from his spaceship.
Glenny Pax: You defeated one Visitor. Congratulations. I have so many more to unleash. Good luck.
Cobb looked around the ring, expecting an attack, but nothing happened. He eventually left and went to the back, still looking over his shoulder.
Backstage, Jack Trailor was looking at a promotional poster of HAW wrestlers, when the Biofuel Engineers came up to him.
Dalton Elkins: Hey Jack…you’re going to be challenging us for our titles?
Jack Trailor: Yep.
Sydney Mason: And…who are you choosing as your partner?
Jack Trailor: Don’t know.
Dalton Elkins: But you know…whoever you choose, it doesn’t matter, right?
Sydney Mason: Because we will beat the living hell out of you, your partner, and maybe even spit on your dead uncle’s grave!
At that point, Mayor Briggs and Douglas Brunswick walk up behind Jack.
Mayor Briggs: Hey Mates, why not piss off and let the fella have some peace?
Douglas Brunswick: He deserves some time to come to a decision. If you want to antagonize him….we’ll make you regret it.
Dalton and Sydney exchanged glances before walking away upset.
Jack Trailor: Thank you.
Mayor Briggs: Don’t mention it. We got your back.
Douglas Brunswick: We heard about everything, and extend our condolences to you. We…well, I don’t know if we should say this.
Jack Trailor: Go ahead.
Mayor Briggs: We want to help you choose your partner mate! This is your once in a lifetime opportunity! You need to make the most of it! If you’re looking for someone, perhaps a former number one contender for the World Championship, like myself?
Douglas Brunswick: Or even….a former World Champion, like me?
Jack Trailor: Both of you are good options.
Mayor Briggs: And hear me out on this one. What if we guarantee your success? What if you choose…BOTH of us?
Jack Trailor: I don’t think I can do that. Three is more than two.
Douglas Brunswick: Oh no! We understand. See, we will represent you in the tag team match! You won’t even have to wrestle! Then when we win, you’re basically winning too!
Mayor Briggs: It’s the most guaranteed option for you to succeed! You want the guaranteed win, right?
Jack Trailor: I do…….Thank you guys. You’re good friends. I really appreciated this talk.
Douglas Brunswick: We’re just trying to help.
Brunswick and Briggs gave Jack a quick hug, and they walked off.
THE Casey Gains: See? You inherit something and everyone wants to be your friend!
Edward Findleton: Well speaking of friends, we’ve got a good match coming up next between two former friends, Ruslan Panov and Mitchell Row!
Mitchell Row came out first, without Kitty Kayleen but with Scarred Badger, while Ruslan Panov entered second.
The match was very even, with both competitors getting their offense in. Mitchell Row looked like he was about to hit Ruslan with a Spear, when the jumbotron showed Fun Fight Machine walking up to Kitty Kayleen in a hotel lobby. Mitchell Row stopped, looking at the footage.
Fun Fight Machine: Hello Kitty.
Kitty: Fun Fight Machine?
Fun Fight Machine: I was wondering, would you like to go out on the town with me tonight?
The video stopped there, frozen,, and Mitchell Row looked confused. Scarred Badger tried to get Mitchell Row’s attention, pointing to the ring, but when he turned around was met with a kick from Ruslan Panov. Panov delivered the Rapid Fire Curb Stomps then pinned Mitchell Row for the victory.
Ruslan Panov celebrated in the ring, then made his way to the back, while Badger attended to Row. As Row started to regain consciousness, he looked at the jumbotron and the rest of the video began to play.
Kitty Kayleen: Ew, no!
Kitty ran away from Fun, who just turned to the camera, smiled, and shrugged as the video finished. Mitchell Row now looked furious he was duped, and as Badger tried to help him up, Row pushed him away and went to the back.
Edward Findleton: And for the second week in a row, Fun Fight Machine angers Mitchell Row!
THE Casey Gains: Shame on Fun Fight Machine for asking a married woman out! Poor Mitchell Row’s homelife must be so difficult these past few weeks!
Edward Findleton: I’m sure more will come of this, but I’ve just been told our main event for next week will feature all the women’s champions! It’s The Solo Girls and Sekino the Stunt Pilot vs The Strange Crew and Athena! Gregory Greystone is backstage with the latter three!
Gregory Greystone: Hello ladies and gentlemen! I’m here with Athena, Jessie Parran, and Smiling Sally! How important is next week’s match?
Athena: Very. I know these two girls want to have something to build on, and I want to get my revenge, to show Sekino that I still have what it takes, and that one day, I’ll get the title off of her.
Jessie: At the same time, knowing the Solo Girls, I don’t think they’re going to take next week seriously. We need to be ready for them at Downtown Disaster.
Crystal Cyclone: We take everything seriously.
Crystal Cyclone, Rachel, and Sekino all walked into view, each holding a metal rod.
Crystal Cyclone: You beat us up last week. That’s very serious. So maybe we can return the favor.
Gregory Greystone: Oh no I’m not getting hurt again!
Gregory ran but tripped, knocking some lights over and causing darkness. When the lights came on, Drizzles and Hawaii were standing there, with Hawaii armed.
Hawaii: Drop your weapons, I have a bazooka.
The three women put their weapons down, Crystal and Rachel starting to back away.
Crystal: How the f…..nevermind. I don’t get paid enough for this.
The Solo Girls walked away, but Sekino stood her ground, then approached Drizzles. The two got into each other’s faces. As Sekino went to rub her chin in thought, Drizzles did the same, mirroring her movements. This continued a bit, until Sekino suddenly slapped Drizzles across the face. Sekino smiled, then walked away.
Athena: …I think next week we all better be careful.
Hawaii: You’re right, I’ve never met anyone that crazy in my life!
Back at ringside, THE Casey Gains had his head in his hands.
THE Casey Gains: How much do you think Mr. Lincoln our lawyer gets paid to deal with everything that goes on here?
Edward Findleton: As Crystal said, probably not enough! But it’s now time for our main event!
The O’Toole Brothers made their entrance first, accompanied by Franco Mancini. Phoenix and Sentinel followed next.
The match saw a lot of action, lasting 12:16, but ended when Sean O’Toole pinned Sentinel after Franco Mancini interfered.
Edward Findleton: And with Tom Hunter distracted, Franco hits the Pickpocket and Sentinel could not get up!
The Trans-Atlantic Family celebrated, making their way to the back, while Phoenix helped Sentinel up in the ring. Both men looked disappointed, and Sentinel seemed to apologize. Phoenix nodded, gave a quick hug, and the two made their way to the back.
Edward Findleton: We’re out of time for tonight, but thank you for tuning in! We’ll see you next week, goodnight!
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