Dark Matches: The Exotic Delights (Lela LaCruse and Phueng Ahunai) defeated local talents Adriana Gomez and Willow Buchana. El Termitas II defeated local talent Cool Spencer.
The HAW theme played to kick the show off.
Edward Findleton: Welcome to HAW! We’re in Houston, Texas tonight as we get ready for Downtown Disaster! Our main event will be the six way women’s tag, Solo Girls and Sekino vs The Strange Crew and Athena!
THE Casey Gains: Speaking of tag teams,we’ve got the Biofuel Engineers joining us on commentary for our first match!
Sydney Mason: We heard Jack Trailor has a match, so we just want to see what he’s got.
Edward Findleton: But what if he chooses Brunswick and Briggs and not himself?
Dalton Elkins: Then he’s even dumber than we thought!
The United States had his music play and he came out, mocking the crowd. The camera cut to backstage just before Trailor was about to go out, when Briggs and Brunswick came up to him.
Brunswick: Jack! Hey buddy, we want to wish you good luck tonight.
Jack Trailor: Thank you. That’s really kind.
Mayor Briggs: As we’ve said, we have your back and your best interest as heart. We promise you will put on the the performance of a lifetime tonight.
Jack Trailor: You really think so?
Mayor Briggs: Mate, we’d never lie to you! I’m telling you, if you beat the United States, we’ll both be so inspired by your wrestling, we’ll take that into next week!
Brunswick: And imagine taking the inspiration of not just one of us, but both of us. That’s practically a guarantee that you’re a tag team championship.
Jack Trailor: Guaranteed champion. I like that. Thank you.
Jack Trailor’s music played, and he made his way out smiling.
In a match that Jack Trailor dominated, Trailer defeated The United States in 4:56.
Edward Findleton: The United States couldn’t get one bit of offense in! Biofuel, you two might be having some second thoughts if you get Jack on his A-game next week!
As Jack celebrated, Brunswick and Briggs started to make their way down to the ring. Halfway at the ramp, they ran into the United States, who was holding his neck in pain. Briggs reached into his pocket and pulled out a stack of cash, counted some, and gave it to the United States, who seemed to be miraculously better. The two shook hands and the United States made his way to the back, as Briggs and Brunswick joined Jack in the ring. Seeing this, the Biofuel Engineers got off of commentary and got in the ring as well.
Brunswick: Hey! You back off from Jack! He just had an amazing match, we won’t let you hurt him!
Dalton Elkins: If you want to manipulate this idiot, go ahead. If you want to pay off the United States to go flying out of the ring from a single punch, go ahead!
Sydney Mason: The fact is, we’ve dealt with teams from the legendary Musical Lifeguard Chairs, to pathetic annoying freaks like the Strange Crew. So go ahead Jack, choose our opponents, we aren't afraid.
Briggs: Yeah Jack! Make your grandfather…uncle..cousin, whoever this was, proud! Make the right choice!
Jack looked around the ring, first at the Biofuel Engineers, then at Brunswick and Briggs, thinking.
Jack Trailor: Well, I really have to agree with everything you guys said. This is the biggest moment of my career, and I need to guarantee a victory.
Brunswick and Briggs smiled and patted Jack on the back.
Brunswick: Good job Jack! We knew you’d make the right decision, we’ll win the titles for you!
Jack Trailor: …But actually….choosing a number one contender for the World Championship isn’t a guarantee.
Briggs: ….That’s ok! That’s ok mate! I understand, I don’t hold it against you. I’ll help you and Douglas!
Jack Trailor: But I needed the guarantee…and choosing a former World Champion as my partner isn’t a guarantee either.
Brunswick: What do you mean Jack? Jack? What do you mean?!
Jack Trailor: I looked up and down the roster for the biggest guarantee and I realized who I needed as my partner….was a legend.
The other four men all looked at Jack confused, until Mayor Briggs’ jaw dropped.
Briggs: Tell me you didn’t do this. Tell me you didn’t choose who I think you’re talking about!
At that point, the music of Local Legend Danny Miller hit as he proudly made his way down to the ring.
THE Casey Gains: He blew it! Jack Trailor just blew his chance at the championship before the match even begun!
Briggs and Brunswick looked on in complete shock, while The Biofuel Engineers were bent over laughing. Danny Miller got to the ring and shook hands with Jack Trailor.
Brunswick: You are an idiot! How stupid do you have to be?! Has he ever won a match in his entire career?!
Sydney Mason: Hey man, this is a great choice! We can’t wait to defend our titles against…against…I can’t even say this without laughing, Jack Trailor and Danny Miller! Hahaha!
Brunswick: This is a joke! A complete joke! We should be challenging for the titles! We want our opportunity! But we’re screwed over because some guy you never met died, and you can’t even use the brain cells you have to choose a good partner! It should be us in the title match!
Jack Trailor: You don’t have to be so mean, you could have just asked. But, I get your point. You can be in the match too.
The Biofuel Engineers stopped laughing at this point, and even Danny Miller looked alarmed.
Dalton Elkins: What did you just say?
Jack Trailor: I get to make the match. So it will be Sydney and Dalton, vs me and Danny, vs Mayor and Douglas.
Mayor Briggs: We’ll take it! You’re a genius Jack, we love you, so long!
Briggs and Brunswick quickly exited the ring, smiling from ear to ear. Jack and Danny left shortly after, leaving the Biofuel Engineers frustrated.
THE Casey Gains: I’ve never seen self destruction of an opportunity like this before Edward.
Edward Findleton: I will say, this will be an uphill battle for Jack Trailor and Danny Miller. But don’t count them out yet!
THE Casey Gains: I’m counting them out. You’ll never convince me otherwise, Edward.
Edward Findleton: We’ll find out next week for certain! Also next week, we’ve been told we have another match taking place, Mitchell Row vs Fun Fight Machine! We have some footage of Mitchell Row from earlier today!
Mitchell Row was at his house with Kitty Kayleen, both in a jacuzzi while Scarred Badger poured them some wine.
Kitty Kayleen: Darling, I’m so sorry about last week.
Mitchell Row: It’s ok! I know what this Fun Fight Machine is like…a terrible human being, with no respect for any other people except himself, someone so- Hey! Badger! I said I wanted the red wine, NOT the white! Take this back!
Scarred Badger: Sorry boss.
Mitchell Row: Anyway, he just doesn’t treat anyone with respect. But I get to face him next week, and I can teach him a thing or two about respect.
Kitty Kayleen: And I think we have a big of an advantage.
Mitchell Row: Oh?
Kitty: Look at his past…a lonely guy, always getting rejected. Now, you’re so strong, I know you can handle him. But if he starts to cheat….
Kitty whispered something into Mitchell Row’s ear, and he smiled.
Mitchell Row: I like the sound of that. You’re as smart as you are beautiful.
Scarred Badger came back with the new wine, but Mitchell pushed it away.
Mitchell Row: It’s too late for that. Badger, get some towels. I have a match to train for.
Edward Findleton: That should be a great match next week, but we have another great one coming up next!
Peter “Carnage” Horn came out, accompanied by Alfred Karneus.
Alfred Karneus: Tonight, we begin Chapter 8 in the Book of Carnage. So many have tried, so many have failed. Who will want to make a name for themselves tonight?
After a brief pause, Little Man’s music played. He slowly walked out onto the stage, almost accepting of his fate. As he got into the ring, he put his hands up as if he didn’t want any part of this. As the bell rang, Little Man immediately laid down in the ring.
THE Casey Gains: This really isn’t a bad idea, all things considered.
Instead of pinning Little Man, Horn grabbed him and lifted him right up into a gorilla press slam. He picked up Little Man again and hit the Side Sitout Powerslam, and pinned him in 42 seconds.
Edward Findleton: Well, Little Man’s attempt to not get hurt…..backfired.
THE Casey Gains: Congratulations Little Man, you’re chapter 8!
Edward Findleton: Well while referee Tom Hunter tries to get Little Man off the mat, let’s check in backstage with the challenger to next week’s World Title match, The Insomniac, Kenneth Cobb!
Cobb was backstage, looking into the camera.
Kenneth Cobb: Glenny Pax… You can threaten me. Send your losers after me. I’m not afraid of you. You can’t hurt me in anyway I haven’t been hurt already. So have your night time light shows, your-
Three visitors jumped Kenneth Cobb at that point. They started to beat him down, but he fought them back. Cobb threw one into the wall, then picked up a nearby 2x4. As the second Visitor ran towards him, Cobb slammed him in the midsection with the 2x4. The third Visitor jumped Cobb from behind. Cobb dropped the wood, then flipped the Visitor onto it before grabbing him and locking in the Sleeper Hold, knocking the Visitor out. Cobb picked up the 2x4 again.
Kenneth Cobb: See?! I’m not afraid! So you bring the Visitors, I’ll bring the weapons….for a hardcore match at Downtown Disaster!
The Insomniac started to walk away, and saw one of the Visitors starting to try to make his way to his feet. Cobb cracked the 2x4 across his back, breaking it in half and causing the Visitor to fall again. The Insomniac continued his exit leaving behind the fallen Visitors.
Edward Findleton: Well we have a stipulation added to the HAW World Championship match, a hardcore match!
THE Casey Gains: A brawl with weapons, that definitely favors The Insomniac, but a match without rules? That might favor Glenny Pax and his army of Visitors.
Edward Findleton: I’m sure both competitors will adjust their strategies accordingly! But up next, it’s a triple tag match!
Coming out to the ring first was Sekino the Stunt Pilot, who was then followed separately by Crystal Cyclone and Rachel. A short while after, Athena, Jessie Parran, and Smiling Sally came out as one group.
A competitive match took place lasting 13:44, but Crystal Cyclone pinned Athena after a Moonsault.
Edward Findleton: What a well fought match, but the team of champions came out on top, and they looked like champions!
THE Casey Gains: Very impressive outing from all competitors, this could have gone either way, and Crystal just managed to hit the Moonsault to seal the victory for her team!
Edward Findleton: Can they manage to do the same in their title match? Find out next week at Downtown Disaster! Goodnight everybody!
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